Sheila, from To love honor and vacuum (with a book by the same name) posed the question, “Do I have to be in the mood?” for her weekly Wifey Wednesday’s post.
Men and women think differently about sex. To women, if we’re not in the mood, we don’t really want to. And we rarely start out in the mood because sex, to us, is primarily relational. We have to feel loved to make love. It’s not a physical urge to the same extent.
I have to admit that I am just plain ole never in the mood.
So the answer to this question for me is simply, no.
So when your husband is interested in sex all the time, it’s natural for a woman to think there’s something wrong with him, because on the whole this isn’t how we work.
I used to think there was something wrong with my husband. I mean why was he feeling amorous when I was exhausted? And doesn’t he hear the baby crying? Does he not see the spit up on my shirt? Who would ever be in the mood after changing that diaper?!
For a man, on the other hand, it is a physical urge. And it’s also related to how he sees himself. He has to make love in order to feel loved.
It does give me pause to realize that for most men, including my husband, this act that I can do without, is how he feels loved.And the last thing I would ever want is for the man I love desperately not to know that. So, I am trying harder and hoping that either my libido grows in future years or his dies(shhhhhh, don’t tell Big Daddy I said that!)
How about you?
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Great post and I really related. I wouldn’t say that I’m never in the mood, but I don’t flip on as quickly as my hubby does. My one friend says that concerning this matter men are microwaves and women are crockpots.
Hey Karin!
Thanks for linking!
I’m not in the mood that much either. But I’m getting there. It’s all about psyching yourself up by remembering how much you love him!
And getting him to put the kids in bed so you can have a nice bubble bath doesn’t hurt, either :).
Ok, so this is the on going struggle in my house as well. I accuse my husband of an overactive libido. He accuses me of being so cold…. I could go on. But I mostly laugh at him about this. We try to reach a compromise so that he is happy and I am not insane. I am glad I am not alone in this sea of the groper and the octopus. I think my husband is one or the other sea creature.