Last year I was blessed to attend Beth Moore’s Bible Study on Esther.
Now normally I’m not comfortable talking about my faith on my blog.
For one thing, I never want it to appear to others that I think I’m better than anyone or the model of Christian faith. But then I realized, I admire Beth Moore and she doesn’t say she is Little Miss Perfect model of Christian faith either, so maybe it’s okay for me to share where I am?
So here is the biggest nugget that jumped out for me during the Esther study.
Women, when you are feeling cattiness sprout from your soul about another woman. When you see the claws coming out and the viciousness rising to the surface—-check yourself.
Because the issue is NOT that other woman. It is most certainly YOU and YOU are the one that is fearful, intimidated or jealous about something about that woman to trigger such a response in you.
Now read it again.
At the time, that was such a wake up call for me because there was a woman who I had really nasty feelings about. Even though I never said anything to her or did anything to her. Whenever I saw her I just thought really ugly things and when I wasn’t thinking nasty things, I was telling my husband all the things I disliked about her. You see I’m not naturally catty. I don’t have the snappy come backs. I don’t have the biting words. I don’t know how to cut you off at your knees in two seconds—-and maybe it’s a good thing?
Although it doesn’t seem that way at the time that I’m getting attacked by someone.
So yes, it was wake up call for me.
Or so I thought…but we’ll come back to that.
This weekend I had another wake-up call.
And like most Godly lessons, I didn’t get the entire lesson, until the next day.
You see I just had someone verbally attack me and come after me for the same reason I didn’t like the other girl. There is some area of her heart or life that is hurting and she is jealous, fearful or intimidated by something in mine. I have no idea what it is and honestly, it’s not even for me to try to figure out. But it does make forgiving this person a lot easier for me, now that I have made the connection.
And lest you think I’m sitting here thinking I’m Little Miss Perfect model of Christian faith, let me tell you what I just did. I just humbled myself to the woman that I disliked and felt ugly towards because of my own fear, insecurity and yes, jealousy.
And it hurt.