Today is the one year anniversary of the day we adopted our youngest daughter, affectionately known on this blog as: Baby Sister. In adoption circles this day is often called Placement Day or Gotcha Day. It is just one of a series of adoption milestones one goes through on their adoption journey.
When I began our adoption journey I couldn’t imagine such a day. Then I looked forward to it. Now, I have mixed emotions. You see, I think I’d rather celebrate my daughter’s birth than the day she joined our family. It is not that her adoption wasn’t a very special day for our family. Of course it was. She was then and continues to be a blessing to our family. However, I don’t believe her adoption should define who she is or whom she will become. It is not something that continues to happen to her, but rather something that happened to her once. She was born another woman’s daughter and then, through her adoption, received another family. When that happened she BECAME our child, forever. She isn’t up for renewal. She doesn’t have to do anything to maintain her position, or importance in our family. She just is, our daughter.
In the story of her life, I don’t imagine that her adoption, something she had no control over, something that (in comparison to her overall life) was but a moment in time—-should weigh in as the most important thing about her. It shouldn’t define her. Character, integrity, faith, sense of family/community, education and purpose should be what defines her. It should be what defines all of us.
So while Baby Sister won’t have cake, ice cream and presents to celebrate this day (as I know some families do) the day will not go by unnoticed by me. Instead I will chose to think about her birth parents on this day. To think about what they sacrificed by placing her for adoption. I will pray that they find their way around and through the grief and loss they undoubtedly feel…and I will quietly thank them in my heart for choosing us to raise her.
Because I cannot imagine a day of my life without her in it. And because of them, I don’t have to.
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Gotcha Day
Very well said. I am a mother of 7. It just so happens that 3 of my children are adopted.
We use to celebrate Gotcha Day. We would do something special with the kids. But then 2 years ago I had my 6th child and we realized that while Gotcha Day is a nice sentiment I didn't find it necessary to point out that certain kids where adopted while others birth. Instead of division to our family we wanted to promote unity.
My husband, sister and I do know the dates for each Gotcha Day. We now celebrate quietly in our heart with giving thanks to God for bringing each child into our life. I pray for the birth parents on the kids birthday and GD.
We don't celebrate placement days either. For two of them it's just two days after their birthdays anyway. I figure those dates will always be more significant to me than to them.
Beautiful post. We follow the same philosophy!
trying to think of an appropriate comment to your beautiful post… but i can't think of one that matches your well-written, heartfelt words.
i love how God has grown your family!
Your blog is beautiful! Thanks or stopping by today, I loved your comment! I'm so glad you liked the oven baked frito pie!