My daughter is kind.
She loves younger children and babies.
She loves being a big sister.
She is serious and funny.
She is independent. She is happy.
She is a rule follower.
She is a perfectionist.
My daughter is shy.
She is beautiful.
She is sensitive.
She worries about failing and being embarrassed in public.
She loves her family.
She loves animals.
She adores her older brothers.
She has a tender heart and a gentle spirit.
..And we are discovering that other girls aren’t always kind to beautiful shy girls with a tender heart.
It’s hard to teach my daughter how to handle it when other girls are mean to her, without cause.
It’s hard to just tell her to “Ignore them” or that “They’re just jealous”
Even though she should ignore them and they might be jealous.
Because, I know that doesn’t work.
It didn’t work when I was her age and it doesn’t work now at 40.
How can you teach your 7 year old daughter
what you yourself haven’t quite learned at 40?
So, instead I’m holding her.
I’m encouraging her.
I’m trying to place her in situations where her confidence can grow.
I’m whispering truths in her ear and trying to etch them on her heart.
…and I am praying that my voice is louder than theirs.
Leah says
I was always told to pity those who are mean for no reason because they must not understand or experience true love like we are blessed to know and have, because if they did they wouldn’t be behaving the way they are. It still is tough though.
Ticia Adventures in Mommydom says
I’m right there with you. The only thing that has worked for us is to tell her not to TRY and play with that child. Or that was my theory. It’s kind of worked.
Summer says
Oh how much I love that little girl…I miss them so much!
Andrea says
This post couldn’t have come at a better time for me. Despite being enrolled in a small Christian school, my own shy, tenderhearted little second grade girl has been going through the same struggles. They hit so close to home for me because she reminds me so much of myself. I feel so helpless because I know that nothing I say can make it go away. I pray for her everyday and build her up the best I can. Thank you for sharing, I find comfort in knowing that I am not the only mom going through this.
Eva Andersen Varga says
Wonderfully written! Very timely for me as well. Thank you! 🙂
Kelly says
I don’t have daughters but I was once a little girl and can relate with this completely. I think your voice will be louder than theirs. You are a loving mom that cares about her. That carries more weight!!! It just has to!
Cara says
I’ve been reading for a long time and just had to say this was my favorite post yet (and first to elicit a comment). Beautifully expressed and good advice…
Pam says
I am so sorry to hear that the drama has already started. I have tender hearted boys and I am so thankful for the discernment that God has given me. I try to place them in situations where they feel like they can move mountains and when others make them feel different I am the gentle voice they seek out when we have out heart to heart conversations. Stay in her ear, she’s listening.
By Word Of Mouth Musings says
Loving on her, building her self esteem and keeping her surrounded by those you love and and trust … the apple didn’t fall far from the tree when you describe her my sweet friend … and we know how hard life can be. She has you to guide her …and there is half her battle won xxx
MarshaMarshaMarsha says
affirmation, love, truth… and teach her that she is valued not for performance or looks or ability, but because she IS… because she is fearfully and wonderfully made. she is family. she is yours. she is God’s handiwork.